WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH KOSHER

GENTILE FRIEND
So the way I understand it, devout Jews are not able to mix meat and dairy on the same plate. WHY??

SARCASTIC JEW
Well, In the time of King David, he had two lesser known brothers who were the only farmers in the land. Prince Morris who was the Diary Farmer and Prince Schmule who owned a cattle farm. Prince Morris was quite the philanderer and would fuck everything in the land. He was Prince and he needed to sow his wild kasha . Prince Schmule was the good brother and married the Princess Esther and they were next in line for the throne.

Morris was jealous of Schmule and wanted the throne, so he seduced Esther and she got pregnant. And since Morris had the heir, he became King (after David) Schmule waged a holy war that lasted over 15,000 years. - They vowed never to be in the same room. Thus you were never allowed to eat Milk with Meat. If you did, that meant that you supported whoever the opposite of whose party it was. To this day there are two types of Jews. The Milk Jews. (Which the Meat Jews called the Duds - Hence the name of the candy) and the Meat Jews (Which the Milk Jews just called assholes) and you can see the animosity at every dinner table when the two are mixed.

So now you can't eat both of them together. - TRUE STORY